220822 Newsletter - Gifting my kids

Hi there ,

Today, I want to talk to you about something I almost never talk about publicly - My kids. Or to be more specific, how I gift my kids.

My wife and I do what all parents do, which is try to do the best they can for their kids. What having money does, is it buys you time. That time should be spent on the right things.

My oldest son just turned 5, I have another daughter who’s 3.5, and another newborn baby daughter who’s a month old :)

My kids were born into me running my Amazon business, along with multiple other businesses running at the same time.

As someone who sells physical products for a living, it makes sense that I will know how to gift "stuff" to my kids, but is that really the best thing I can give them? Or when I do gift them physical products, should I be involved in some way?

Growing up, all of the gifts around me were, well, stuff. To me, my sisters, my friends, my parents, all around me - It was just stuff. You’re given a gift, and you go and play with it for a few hours/days/weeks, until you’re sick of it and move on to the next thing.

Looking back, I don’t really remember having fun with the different toys I had, I remember having quality time with my family and friends. As kids, all we want is to spend time playing with those who are close to us and care about us.

When I became a father, I made a promise to myself to be there for my kids. That doesn’t mean I have to be there every second with them, because it’s not about the quantity of time I spend with them, it’s the quality, and what I actually do with the time we spend together.

As some of you know, I traveled a lot before Covid hit. Most of my friends bring physical gifts to their kids. I find that to be an “easy fix”, but it can quickly become an issue - When I come back from a business trip, I don’t want my kids running up to me saying “What did you get me?!” Not because I want them to just be happy to see me, I just think it will make them more materialistic over time.

I’ve decided to do something different - Spend quality time with each of them in the days after I get back. I might do regular activities with them like taking them to the supermarket, car wash, or whatever it may be. They just like doing stuff with me at this age, and anything can be done in a fun and playful way. I might also take them to the local pool, to see a movie, to the playground, etc. Another thing I try to do if I can spend time with each of them individually when getting back from a trip. That way they have their own time with me and don’t have to fight over my attention.

A few things I’ve done with my son recently:

1. Before I was doing e-commerce, I was a magician (for a living!). A few weeks ago, I came to his kindergarten and did tricks for him and his friends. He felt like a king for a day and I made sure to get all the kids to participate in different tricks while doing the final “big trick” with my son and letting him do the magic.2. My son got a few lego sets as gifts from his grandparents, I sat down on the floor with him and we put those together. Afterward, I dusted off my old lego sets (that my parents kept for over 20 years in their attic), washed and cleaned them with my kids, and sorted them by sets, which was a project that took every afternoon for over a week. During the weekend we’ve put together a few more sets. 

3. Took my son last week to see a live show for kids, with a trip to the playground after and dinner in a restaurant for just the two of us. I've noticed that giving 1:1 attention to my kids is amazing, they open up a lot more and we deepen our relationship. 

I don’t know why we were put on this earth, but I will say that for those of you who have kids, we can agree that being there for them is definitely one of the reasons. When it comes to gifting your loved ones, give them the most expensive gift of all - Your time.

Until next time,Tomer